Portsmouth MP Penny Mordaunt makes Christmas-themed attacks on Scottish and Welsh governments

The House of Commons Leader and Portsmouth MP criticised Holyrood's SNP-run administration in a mock version of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, featuring references to key party figures being questioned by police, and Scottish health secretary Michael Matheson running up £11,000 in roaming charges on an iPad issued by the Scottish Parliament.

She also claimed it was "a good job the nativity didn't take place in Labour-run Wales", joking that Mary and Joseph would have been "clobbered for an overnight stay" because of the Welsh Government's proposed tourist tax. SNP Commons leader Deidre Brock claimed Ms Mordaunt had given her "a lecture on morality" at the previous week's Business questions as she queried the UK Government's own morality, adding: "Could it be the morality of near-Victorian levels of destitution across the UK?"

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Ms Mordaunt responded: "If she wants to go and find Victorian levels of rats and rickets, she should go to SNP-run local authorities. But I think we should have a festive round-up on SNP morality: 12 hours of police questioning, 11 grand roaming charges, 10 years without school inspections, nine sham embassies, eight years of poor child mental health, seven years without ferries, six years shirking welfare powers."

To the tune of "five gold rings", she added: "£500 million over-spent on Edinburgh's tram. £4 million to install a heat pump, three high-profile arrests, two overseas jollies, and a dodgy Jaguar EV."

Addressing Ms Brock, the Commons Leader added: "I thank her. I have succeeded in bringing a smile to her face and I must thank her for being the gift that keeps on giving at Business questions. I hope that in 2024 better things are destined for the Scottish people."

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Shadow Commons leader Lucy Powell had earlier paid tribute to Mark Drakeford, the Labour First Minister of Wales who announced on Wednesday that he is standing down.

Ms Mordaunt replied: "I would put on my record my thanks to Mark Drakeford for his service, but I would remind people of Labour's record in Wales." She added: "It's a good job the nativity didn't take place in Labour-run Wales. Mary and Joseph would have been clobbered for an overnight stay levy, she'd have had poor maternity services, the shepherds would not have been able to take the time off to bear witness due to cuts in the rural affairs budget, and the three wise men would have arrived post-Epiphany due to the blanket 20-mile-an-hour speed limit and the poor condition of the road network. Don't fall for what Labour say - look at what they do when they are in power. Not all men who wear red and promise free gifts are to be trusted."